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Something Horrible happened. I woke up Monday morning to my dad telling me that my baby sister passed away while still in my moms tummy it was only 3 days till moms due date. For 2 hours the only thing I could say was "no". I wanted this to all be a dream. I couldn't loose my baby sister. It just couldn't be real. Unfortunately it was. All day Monday I just cried and cried. I didn't know what else to do. I was praying for a miracle and hoping that when she was born her precious heart beat would be back. But it wasn't in His will. I don't understand what His reasoning is for this or why it had to be a precious baby. At about 9 O'clock Monday night Addison was still born. When my dad texted me to tell me I just started balling. There were many tears. My Big sister Beka was here to hold me as well as my older brother Luke. Ellyn was here too. My friends have been an amazing support to me. I was so exhausted and needed sleep. Beka left at about 10:30 pm that is when I went to bed. The next morning we loaded all 9 kids up and headed over to the hospital. When we walked in to the room. Tears filled everyones eyes. Poor Addison so lifeless and helpless. Only a few of us held her. Then Luke took All of the kids home I stayed at the hospital with mom dad and Addison. I held her for an hour and a half. I didn't want to give her up or put her down. This isn't how it's supposed to be. She is supposed to be here in my arms. My parents aren't supposed to be at the funeral home. It felt so wrong leaving her at the hospital. So wrong. I'm homesick for heaven and I wish I was in Heaven with Addison. There were so many things I looked forward to doing with her. That I will never get to do now. Right now Life sucks. I want my little sister, I want her in my arms. That is all that I want.

Addison...I never wanted to leave you. I wanted you to come home with me. :'(